comparison

Living the Perfect Life

Northwest Pearls: The Perfect Life Multiple friends have recently told me that they were jealous of all the adventures I go on and all the fun I'm having. I had to ask them what they meant. Me? Going out and having fun? Sure, that happens sometimes, but not all that often. Usually I'm working or applying to jobs or reading alone or watching tv by myself or maybe with my bff. There's not a ton of fun or adventures in my life right now.

I figured out that their perception of my life came from my social media accounts. (Mostly Instagram.) They saw the pictures I posted and assumed that I was having a blast.

Which isn't exactly true. I have gotten to do some fun things this summer, go on hikes, be maid of honor in a dear friend's wedding, try out new things, but overall I'd saw it was an average or below-average summer. I just try to make my life look great on social media.

Which is what most people do. I see the photos of friends kayaking or at the top of a mountain and I'm jealous. But what I fail to remember is that those people also are in school or they're working and most of their life isn't like that. I just see their memorable highlights.

It's the same thing with most, if not all, blogs out there. They/we just post the highlights of our life, the pretty things, the things that inspire us. I'm not going to post an OOTD of me in yoga pants and a college t-shirt I got for free unless there's an amazing view from a hike behind me. If that's what I wore around the house or to the grocery store, it's not worth posting. It has to be noteworthy in some way for it to be internet worthy.

And most of my life isn't very noteworthy. It may seem cool on social media but honestly, yes, I've had fun this summer, but probably not as much fun as I've made it seem. (Because let's face it, you don't want to see a photo of me at my computer or me running errands.)

It makes me a little sad to see people post #goals on posts or blog posts (not mine, usually someone famous in the social media/blog world.) Yes, it would seem fabulous to wear a swimsuit everyday and just lounge by the beach, but let's face it, even the people who seem to be doing that all the time, probably aren't. Anything, even the glamorous, gets old after a while. Most of it is about selling a lifestyle, but you have to realize that even they aren't living that lifestyle. And many readers (usually they seem younger) don't realize that life isn't like that. Yes, Person A may look fabulous in the post about the beach and a fabulous new swimsuit, but what you don't see is the boring parts of life, because let's face it, everyone's life has to be somewhat mundane and boring some of the time. We just don't showcase that part because no one is interested in it.

So don't compare yourself to what someone else (famous or not) seems to be online or on social media. They may seem like #goals, but I bet if you spent a week with them, you'd see that their life isn't what you thought.

Here's what I'm frequently doing when I'm at home, feet up on the desk, at my computer video chatting, watching TV, applying for jobs, or blogging. Those feet have done cool things this summer, but they've also hung out at home quite a bit.

Northwest Pearls: Living the Life

What do you think about a person's portrayal online and on social media?

Another Person's Success Isn't Your Failure

Northwest Pearls: Comparison

*Image source

Another person's success isn't your failure. These are words I've been trying to keep in mind. I get onto social media and see friends announcing that they got into their top grad school or that they've got an internship in Europe and I'm over here like, "I get a two day weekend this week because a trip I was going to go on didn't work out." (I usually work six days per week. Also, I'm incredibly glad I had a two day weekend. I'm exhausted.)

I graduated with a four-year degree in three years at age 20, and I currently have a paid internship in the field I want to go into as well as a side-job. And still I'm judging myself for not having a full-time career and feeling like a failure because at age 21, I haven't found a full-time career.

I judge myself too harshly. I constantly compare myself to others and I envy them and where their lives have taken them. But it's something that I, and maybe you too, need to work at.

Here are a few ways I've come up with to keep thinking positively:

  • Dwell on your accomplishments. Don't be arrogant, but know that you have worth and you have accomplished things.
  • Stay off social media (this will be hard to impossible for me, I love to blog and I use my Facebook for work, but I know that I often compare myself to my friends on social media.)
  • Remember that everyone is different. They live differently and they have different goals.
  • Know that everyone has flaws.
  • Know that everyone has bad things that they're going through that you don't know about. Just because you don't know what they're going through, doesn't mean that they're not struggling.
  • Be grateful for what you have and who you are. There is no one out there like you. You are unique and loved.
  • And a little Bible verse for those of you who this may help: Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" This helps me because it reminds me that I'm being looked after and loved.

Do you have the same problem as me? What helps you to not compare yourself?