Supporting Women

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ORhEE9VVg&w=560&h=315] I'll admit it. I've hated on Taylor Swift. And I regret it.

I regret it because I judged her and it was wrong of me. We are both young women who have grown up and are now living in a society that has double standards. The difference between Taylor Swift and I being the amount of our lives the general public knows/talks about.

I laughed at her expense because of how many boyfriends it seemed like she had had. And if she ever reads this, I'm really sorry, I promise I'm a better person and really try to be less judgmental about everything! I try to not tear anyone down.

For a while Taylor had the reputation of being a serial dater. Someone crazy because she couldn't hold onto any guy. And that's why people, including me I'm sorry to say, love(d) to hate on her.

But she's not a serial dater. She's dated six guys in five years according to Wikipedia. And for comparison, I looked at Harry Styles and Leonardo DiCaprio on Wikipedia and neither have a "Relationships" page. They just have an overall "Personal Life" page, which Taylor also has. Her "Personal Life" goes into more detail with sub-pages of Family, Wealth, and Politics. (Side note: Just to see I looked at about ten different, male and female, celebrity pages on Wikipedia, and none had as many sub-headings as Taylor Swift's had. I didn't see anyone else, male or female, who had a "Relationships" sub-page, however some had sub-pages under "Personal Life" similar to Taylor's.)

There are double standards in life which I'm sure you all know. Men often are praised for having numerous relationships, while women are shamed for it. Women are either boy-crazy or plain-crazy while men are revered and exalted for their relationships, And Taylor has finally called the media out on it. She's embodied the crazy girlfriend in "Blank Space." She is owning it to show how ridiculous it is.

This isn't why I stopped hating on her though. I stopped before that when I realized that I was hating on her for something that was a double standard and something that didn't matter. She's a young woman, like me, and we both, her more so because of her fame, have to deal with a society that's more forgiving to men.

We hate on other women for having too many boyfriends or not having any, being too emotional, or being too cold-hearted, wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, or wanting a high-powered career. And it seems to me that we do this because we have expectations on how women should be.

Tearing other women down does nothing for us. Tearing another woman down does not build yourself any higher. We compare women in "Who Wore It Best?" We focus on what women look like instead of who they are. (Side note: Have you seen Buzzfeed asking questions at the Golden Globes? Little language warning but you should watch it.) Instead of putting down other women, we should use that energy to build them up, to encourage them in their field, to mentor them in school, to create equality between all. There's a lack of female engineers, directors, and women in leadership positions, as well as many other fields. We should work to encourage women to pursue their dreams and not limit them to what we think they should be doing or criticize them for what they are doing.

So what does tearing down accomplish? It's not going to make anyone any better.